Mommy/Boy vs. Daddy/Girl dynamics in the Queer Community...

topic posted Thu, December 16, 2004 - 1:11 PM by  alix
I think there is widespread discussion/acknowledgement about the Daddy/Girl dynamic in the Queer/Trans community - but rarely do I hear of anyone talking about Mommy/Boy.

What do people think?

Do butches/ftm's find it difficult to "come out" as a boy? If so, why?
posted by:
SF Bay Area
  • There is much I would like to share on this topic...( I am at work so I only have a few moments)
    As a Genderqueer Butch Daddy...I have found it hard in some ways to come out as a "Mama's Boy". I am lucky to have an incrediable Mommy(who is also my primary partner) who is so loving and understanding and doesnt force me to come out unless I want too.
    I feel like there is alot of judgement in the community towards Tops/Daddies that if you switch you arent a "real" Daddy. I just happen to be multifacieted...and want to explore every exciting dynamic that speaks to me.
    It is so rich and rewarding after being a Daddy for so many years, that I get to explore a different dynamic.
    I will speak to this more when time allows....
    I am interested in hearing what others have to say.
    • A
      offline 231
      It is nice to hear of one that has found what they sought! I'm very glad for you. Surely there is alot of judgement in this area sadly. It always amazes me to see those that seek a broader viewpoint, try to fit that view point into its own box. Why?! Each person is uniquely different and should be accepted as such--SAME with each dynamic between people. Isn't that wonderful though!
      I look forward to hearing more from you dear.
  • Unsu...
    I have received much judgement for being a Mommy in my day.

    I've been called crazy and talked shit about. I even had someone once tell my boy that she needed therapy for her "issues" for wanting to be with me. This came from someone who is totally comfortable with Daddy/Girl relationships.

    Thanks so much for this Tribe! I just found it and joined today.
    • I prefer Mommy/Girl over Mommy/Boy, but I love Momma's, so I am willing to be flexible with this one.
      I went to a workshop at Babeland this week and the facilitators of a SM 101 class responded sort of awkwardly to my response that my greatest fantasy is, "Mommy + Girl." They said, "You shouldn't confuse kink for therapy."
      I was sort of taken aback since I'm sure if I had written, "Daddy + Girl" they would have been totally comfortable talking about erotic play scenarios between two partners.
      I do find that the Mommy role is not as respected as Daddy and is misunderstood. i also have yet to find a group of people who are into Mommy/Girl love....maybe I need to create one?
      • DJ
        offline 44
        Ahhh thank you Alix and good job! Thank you for creating a place where those of us with a strong Mommy energy can feel comfortable. For years I've watched the parade of various Leather title holders.... DykeDaddy... DykeDiva... DykeBoi... LeatherGrrl... and was always saddened that I just didnt "fit" into any of these categories.

        I am a Mommy and proud to be who I am. I have a NEED to cuddle and care... caress and correct... nurture, educate, pamper and play!

        although, like dandy... I do rather prefer the Mommy/girl dynamic, I've raised a boy or two before and it's most enjoyable as well.

        Should you create a Mommy/girl group dandy - most definitely let me know. I'm there.

        And for my good baby bois... I'm also here!

        -Momma D.
        • Unsu...
          Oh, Momma D. If only you knew how much some of us need a mama like you. ;)

          I prefer mamas, because I like to be the little boy. I'm a 19 year old transgendered lesbian, who likely will not go through with T. (By choice.) I enjoy looking like a teenage boy rather than a woman my age. Plus, I love to have childish fun, I'm easily excitable, I'm a true boy at heart. At the same time, I have a great job, attend college, and take care of myself. It would be nice not to have a lover scoff at me for not acting my age, and I feel a mama truly fits my needs in this aspect.

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